Let’s be real, if you’ve spent more than a weekend in Tahoe, you can spot a Bay Area tourist from a mile away. They’re the ones with pristine North Face jackets, rental skis that look like they’ve never touched snow, and an unshakeable confidence that says they totally know what they’re doing (spoiler: they don’t).

The Uniform

First things first, wardrobe is the ultimate giveaway. Bay Area weekenders arrive decked out in gear that looks like it was just unboxed from REI, with tags still potentially hanging. Their ski jackets are blindingly clean, their boots look suspiciously unmarked, and everything matches in that carefully curated Silicon Valley aesthetic.

Rental Car Roulette

Spot a gleaming Audi or Tesla with Bay Area plates parked askew in a mountain lot? Bingo. These weekend warriors treat mountain driving like a casual commute down 101, complete with white-knuckled grips and occasional confused looks at snow chains.

Aprés Ski Performance

Watch the bar scene, and you’ll see them, groups loudly discussing startup funding, crypto trends, and how “epic” their two runs down the bunny slope were. They’ll be drinking craft cocktails, taking perfectly staged Instagram shots, and discussing which mountain has the best “vibes”.

Tech Tells

Nothing screams “Bay Area” like someone trying to ski while maintaining a Zoom call or checking Slack. Pro tip: if someone is more concerned with their AirPods connection than their ski technique, you’ve found your weekender.

The Starbucks Syndrome

Where there’s a Bay Area weekender, there’s a Starbucks cup. Forget local coffee shops, they’re clutching their grande oat milk lattes like lifelines, completely oblivious to the incredible local roasters surrounding them.

Pro Survival Guide

For locals, these weekenders are an inevitable part of mountain life. They bring energy, economic boost, and admittedly, some prime people-watching material. Just smile, give them wide berth on the slopes, and remember, we were all newbies once.

Just maybe not quite so… conspicuously.

So next time you’re enjoying your mountain weekend, play weekender bingo. Trust us, it never gets old.